I Know How It Feels to Breathe With You Beside Me
by kate-dammit-run
Summary: Kurt and Jane move into their first home together, and everything needs to be perfect. Pure shameless fluff.
1. Chapter 1

She paces a lot when she talks on the phone, especially when it's with stubborn deceiving contractors. The house still smells of fresh paint and she has to manoeuvre around boxes and bags but she still makes her way from the kitchen to the foyer, into the dining, and back out in the foyer and up the stairs.

She goes up and down one of the flights mainly because Kurt's stacked a mountain of pillows on the landing and she cannot make it past them without injuring herself. So she goes up and down as she argues with the man on the phone.

"No, but, no, listen" she says, losing her patience, "you said - _promised_ \- that they will be installed by the third, and what's the date today?… It's the fifteenth."

"No, no, I will not accept that! I don't care if your neighbour's dog chewed off three tires off your truck! That was your excuse last week, and you could have easily hired another truck!"

"No, you know what! No, no, listen to me," Jane raises her voice, "Hey! Do I need to remind you that -" she bites her lip at that, Kurt had often made it clear that threatening that she carries a gun for a living is never a good idea.

She takes a deep breathe, "Fine, you know what? We don't want them anymore. Just keep them… No I don't care what you end up doing with them. You can just -"

She takes another deep breath and sighs, "There'll be an Agent Rose in your office first thing Monday to pick up our refund. Enjoy your weekend."

She shoves the phone in her pocket and grit her teeth. without thinking, her hands closes into a tight fist and she punches the wall. Angrily. Her fist goes straight into the dry wall and the heavy thud echoes through the house.

She hears Kurt's footsteps rushing from the bedroom upstairs and his voice worried as he calls for her. "Jane? Are you ok? What happened?" He runs down the first flight of stairs and leaps over the mountain of pillows. She glances over at him for a moment and then back at the hole she'd created in the wall of their new home. She pulls her hand out and inspects her knuckles. No permanent damage she notes to herself. He goes around her, standing on the step below hers and he only briefly looks at the damage in the wall before taking her hands in his and tenderly checking it.

"Are you ok?" he whispers gently.

"I broke our house," she answers innocently, and he cannot help the chuckle that escapes his lips.

He turns to the hole in the wall.

"I don't think that was a load baring wall," he jokes, "what happened?" he asks again, trying to understand what had happened to lead her to punch a new ventilation source in their house.

He looks up at her when she doesn't answer, notices how her bottom lips pouts and her chin begin to quiver. "We haven't been in our first home one full day and I've already broken it," she says looking between him and the wall. And the first tear escapes, rolling down her cheek. He reaches over with his free hand, wiping away at the tear.

"Hey, hey," he whispers gently, "it's ok, it's just a stupid dry wall."

"But I wanted our home to be perfect and now it's ruined," she says.

He drops his hand from her cheek, his other hand releasing hers, and he places both on her hips, his thumbs rubbing gently at where the baby bump is just starting to show. "Nothing is ruined," he reassures her calmly, "it's just a wall, we can get it fixed."

"Good luck with that," she mumbles, "I kind of just fired our contractor as well."

He just smiles at that, pulling her slightly forward until they are flat against each other. With her one step above him, they stand at equal heights, and before she can berate herself again, his lips are on hers, softly.

She leans into him, trusting him to hold them both on that tight step, and deepens the kiss. His arms go around her waist and he lifts her easily, guiding her to wrap her legs around his waist as the kiss becomes more heated.

She gasps into his mouth when he starts moving, when he climbs up the steps. And when he chuckles, she repays him by biting on his lip. They don't pull back as he takes them the rest of the way up, reaching the landing. He knows he cannot move any forward, and so he pulls back, with a smirk on his lips, his eyes dark, he brings them down onto the mountain of pillows sitting in the middle of the landing.

* * *

She drops her head against his chest, trying to catch her breath, while his fingers rub her sweaty back gently, the rise and fall of his chest below her helping steady her erratic heart beat.

The once tidy stack of pillows now a mess of linen ad clothes, scattered all over the landing and down the next flight of stairs. He kisses the top of her, then her forehead when she looks up at him, a lazy, happy smile on her lips.

"Hi," he says, his smile matching hers, before he kisses her lips chastely.

"Hi," she replies dreamily, leaning into him to kiss him properly.

"Welcome home," he whispers against her lips, which only makes her smile wider, makes her kiss him deeper.

"The bedroom's all done," he says, "why don't you take a break. We've got a long evening with everyone coming over tonight."

She shakes her head, "which is exactly why I need to stay up and help you. There's still so much more to do."

He kisses the tip of her nose, "I already told them to expect some heavy lifting tonight. I'll order pizza and there's enough beer in the fridge for everyone," he says, "they owe us."

She really wants to argue some more, but the yawn betrays her, "are you sure?"

He nods, sitting up and bringing her up with him, "don't worry, I got this."

"I know you do," she says, kissing his jaw before getting up.

* * *

She's not sure how long she sleeps for, but the house is still quiet when she gets up. She gets her phone and there are still a few hours before the others show up. She pulls on one of the few pieces of clothing lying around, the shirt he was wearing to work yesterday, and steps out of the bedroom.

The first thing she notices is the mountain of pillows had disappeared. She then sees the room to the nursery slightly ajar, and is terribly tempted to check it out, but she pulls back at the last moment. She had promised him, gave him that, to be his surprise for her and the baby. And even though she's used every trick possible, he has kept his secret close to his heart about what he was doing. She loved the way his eyes sparkled whenever the topic of the nursery came up, and if that was the cost of staying in the dark about it, then it's a price she would definitely pay.

She makes her way down the stairs and pauses at the spot of her crime. Her breath hitches, tears prickling her eyes when she sees what he had done.

A simple frame around the hole she'd made and a post it next to it that says "Day 1 - _A certain type of perfection can only be realised through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect._ "

He's in the kitchen when she finally finds him, putting away plates in one of the top cupboards. With his back to her, she walks over, wrapping her arms around his waist, he forehead resting between his shoulder blades, she whispers, "I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

Her eyelids fluttered open lazily as the first rays of the morning sun snuck into their bedroom. One hand went to her stomach, greeting her daughter who was already up and kicking while the other reached over, searching for him. But his side of the bed was empty, already cold, and for a moment she wondered if she had actually slept in for once, as per the doctor's orders, but one quick glance to her bed side table and she realized it was him who was up too early.

She rolled over, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Getting out of bed, like everything else, no longer as easy as they had once been with her now eight month pregnant belly. She knew she should be grateful though, that, according to Sarah, her size at eight months was what most women reach by the fifth. Jane had thought she was just saying that to make her feel good, at first, but soon she realized that she was much smaller than most women at the OBGYN's and that had got her worried, scared that there was something wrong with the baby. Her doctor was quick to ease her fears, telling her that each woman was different, and some just didn't grow as big as others. Their daughter was perfectly fine, perfectly healthy. They had nothing to worry about.

She finally got up and made her way out of the bedroom to find him, and it came as no surprise when she found that he was in the nursery. They had been officially living in the new house for four months now and he was still not done with it. It was killing her to know what he had been up to in there, but a promise was a promise.

She walked down the stairs towards the kitchen, passing by the framed hole in the wall that they've both decided should stay there for as long as they lived in this house. She poured herself a glass of orange juice and grabbed a muffin and sat perched on a stool, checking her emails and messages. It had taken a lot of arguing and negotiating but she finally greed to eave all field work behind a few months, and even though she knew it was for the best, she absolutely hated the desk job, mainly because she missed out on all the fun, but also because it killed her not being out there with the team, _not being out there keeping an eye on Kurt_. As she went through her emails, she remembered that today was the day Kurt had been dreading for weeks, the day he had to dress up in a suit and tie and attend meetings all day with Mayfair upstairs. He hated it, but she secretly loved it, knowing he'd be safe, in doors, and not running around doing some stupid thing or another.

"There you are," his voice came from across the room, "I went back to the bedroom and you were gone," he said, as he walked towards her.

"You're one to talk," she teased, "I woke up to an empty bed."

She tilted her head towards him, accepting his good morning kiss with a smile. "Sorry, had to do some work on the nursery before I headed out."

"Early day today, huh?" she asked, giggling as he rolled his eyes, "that's the price of being the big boss."

He settled next to her wit his coffee. "Sleep well?" he asked as he turned towards her. She nodded and smiled, at his concern, at the love in his gaze. He returned the smile, his hand reaching over to land on her stomach, "how about you, baby? Sleep well?" he whispered as he gazed warmly at where her hand rested on top of his.

"She slept perfectly, except when she had karate training at 3am," Jane said.

Kurt laughed, taking a sip of his coffee then placing the mug back on the island. "I gotta take a shower, get ready," he said getting up, standing in front of her to kiss the top of her head softly. Jane finished her breakfast and followed him upstairs, heading towards their bedroom. She moved to place her phone on the dresser when she accidentally knocked down his phone and wallet.

She sighed, grabbing on the edge of the dresser as she bent down to pick them up. She grabbed the phone and wallet, bringing them up, a few small papers fell out of the wallet, and this time she huffed. She touched her stomach and smiled when the baby kicked. "Sorry, kid, mommy's clumsy this morning," she said. She grabbed the papers and when she saw what they were, she felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes. _God, she hated how emotional she was these days._

She held the papers in her hands and studied them. They were copies of every sonogram she'd had, with the date and the baby's details written clearly on the back. And he carried them with him in his wallet. She placed everything back in its place, and wiping away the tears, she walked over to the bathroom, ridding herself of her clothes along the way. Once inside, she softly tapped against the glass, cracking the shower door open, she smiled at him, "got room in there for one more?"

"Always," he replied.

She stepped in, savoring the warm spray and the feel of his lips against hers as he pulled her towards him, his arms wrapping around her instantaneously. Once they pulled back, and she had caught her breath, she turned around in his embrace, his arms tightening around her, she let her body rest fully against him, trusting him to support her weight under the constant spray of water. He held her tightly, one palm resting comfortably over her stomach, the other arm wrapped securely over her chest, finding comfort in its rise and fall, in the steady beat of her heart beneath his finger tips.

The stood there quietly, his lips occasionally finding his favorite spots on her neck and shoulders, but he could feel something was off, and so when the minutes stretched, he whispered, "everything ok?"

She reached up, twining her fingers with his, on her chest and stomach, and when she spoke, her voice cracked. "Is this real?" she asked.

He blinked, taken aback by her question, "What… what do… of course it's real," he said.

"I'm just scared…" she tightened her grind on his hands, somehow burrowing herself closer into him, "I'm just scared this is all just a dream… a fantasy… that I'll wake up tomorrow in a duffel bag, with no memory of any of this… I'm scared that…" she was crying fully then, her body shaking in his embrace and it didn't take much effort for him to turn her around, to wrap her completely in his arms.

She buried her face in his neck then, her arms wrapping around his neck, clinging on to him for dear life. He held her tightly, kissing the side of head, whispering comforting words in her ear for a few moments, letting her cry in his arms. He knew she still had nightmares of that day, nightmares of her life being stolen from her again, and he couldn't imagine just how much harder it was for her now, with the baby and everything else.

When he could feel her crying subside, he pulled back slowly, keeping his arms on her arms, he titled her chin up to meet his gaze. "It's real," he said confidently, "it's all _very_ real."

He took her hand in his and placed it over his heart, "this is real," he said, and then he places his own hand on hers, "and this is real," he added, and then he placed both their free hands on her stomach, "and _she_ is very _very_ _real_ ," he said, and as though she could hear them, the baby kicked them, earning a smile from her father, a half sob, half laugh from her mother.

They finished their shower and got dressed quietly, and when Kurt was done, tie tied and jacket properly in place, he walked over to her side of the bed and reached out to her. "Come with me," he said.

She placed her hand in his, an eyebrow raised in question, "where to?"

"Come on," he said, a playful smile on his lips as he led her out and across the corridor, where he came to stand in front of the nursery door, "I think it's time."

She smiled, beamed at him, "are you serious?" she asked and he just nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out a key. "Do you want to see it or not?" he teased and she all but punched him in the chest, "of course, I do!" He wanted to prolong it, make a theater of it, but the excited look on her face, the way her eyes widened with excitement, he couldn't do it. So he opened the door, swung it wide and let her in.

Jane stood in awe at the entrance of the room as she took it all in. The first thing she noticed was how much light flooded the rooms from the huge bay windows across from the door, with the upholstered bench just infant of them, covered with huge pillows in pastel colors. One wall was covered with a simple wallpaper, stripes of lime greens and yellows, while the wall across was plain white with large wood letters, hand carved she knew that much, spelling out the name they'd agreed on, Ava. There was an upholstered rocking chair, white fabric with a lime green blanket thrown over the armrest. The floor was covered by a warm wood paneling and in the middle sat a round rug, a rich wild forest green rug, below a beautiful crib. She walked closer to it, the bars of it catching her attention. She made her way to it and upon closer inspection, she recognized the designs that covered the wood of the crib. They were her tattoos, carefully and perfectly carved and engraved into the whole crib.

The tears were falling freely when she turned to him. He walked towards her just as she turned back around to admire the crib. He stood behind her and spoke. "I just thought that this way, you'll always be with her, always around her, holding her," he whispered. She didn't fight the sob that escaped her lips, reaching behind her, looking for him, seeking him, and he took her hand in his. She turned to him then. "Do you like it? I mean we still have time, we can change things if you don't -"

"It's perfect, Kurt, absolutely…" she wiped away her tears, "absolutely _perfect_."

She reached up, her palms against his cheeks, his stubble soft against her skin and reached up, kissing him, pouring everything she felt for him into that one kiss.

 _Nothing could be more real._


	3. Chapter 3

The house was quiet and dark when he walked in at around 7pm. He kicked off his shoes and took his jacket off by the door, and made his way upstairs. The only light in the house was the small night light in the nursery, and the smile that drew on his lips was wide and involuntary as he quietly opened the door and walked in. He could see the top of Jane's head in the rocking chair but it was so quiet, and so when he rounded the chair he figured out they were both fast asleep, Ava perfectly cuddled in her mother's arms, cradled against her chest, a blanket covering them both. He watched them both for a moment, that brief glance at the two most important things in his life suddenly making him forget all the horrible things that had happened that day, everything they had gone through all of a sudden disappearing making way to nothing but the perfect image in front of him.

He eventually moved towards them, breaking out of his trance, and reached for his daughter, lifting her off Jane carefully, making sure not to wake either of them up. Ava stirred in his arms and her shifting against his chest made his heart swell. He brought his lips to the top of her head, kissing her gently and breathing in her scent. "Hey baby," he cooed softly, "daddy's missed you today." He kissed her again before laying her down in her crib and pulling the blanket over her.

He turned around, the glitter in his eyes not fading, and found Jane had woken and was watching him with a smile on her lips. "Hi," she mouthed and he smiled back, taking a step towards her, he held out his hand to her and helped her up, pulling her to him and wrapping her in his arms. "Hi back at you," he whispered, kissing the side of her head.

They ate dinner as Jane questioned Kurt about every detail of his day and the case. He knew it was killing her to be out of the office and out of the field and so he didn't spare her any detail. She was also still very valuable, and even though she wasn't back at the office yet, he often brought work back home with him to get her eyes on the case. She was still as valuable a member of the team as ever and she really appreciated that from him. She loved Ava, loved being a mother more than anything, more than she could ever imagine, but she was still her and not being involved in the cases still annoyed her. He was just telling her how Patterson cracked the phone's encryption when Ava's whimpers were heard over the baby monitor.

Jane moved to get up but Kurt quickly put a hand on her arm, "I got this," he said. "No, it's okay, Kurt," she argued but he shook his head. "I haven't see her all day," he admitted, "I've missed her." She smiled, nodded, and added as he got up, "I'll heat up a bottle for her."

He came back down minutes later, carrying Ava and humming her favorite lullaby, one that was apparently also her mother's, something Kurt admitted to her a few months ago, the first time he sang it to a colic Ava. Jane handed him the bottle and moved to clean up the table from their dishes. She placed everything in the sink and went to meet them in the living room, curling up next to Kurt, watching him feed their daughter. "You okay?" she asked and he nodded, turning to her with a beaming smile. She still couldn't get over the look on his face every time he saw their daughter, every time he held her. And she understood it, too, because the pure unadulterated joy and happiness that filled her, she was sure, was something that shone through her every time. All the time.

He tilted his head towards her, kissing her gently, "I'm perfect," he whispered. She lifted her hand to his stubbled cheek, brushing her fingers against the roughness of it and pulled him in for another quick kiss.

An hour later, Kurt was laying Ava back in her crib and then going to find his wife. The lights downstairs were off and so he tried their bedroom. He found her in their bathroom, giving herself a well deserved bath. Her head was resting against the edge, eyes closed and arms lying on the sides, the rest of her buried in the thick foamy bubbles. He moved in, sitting down next to the bathtub on the cold tiled floor. He reached for her, father touches to her arm and she smiled, eyes still closed. "Hi," he said and earned a soft moan in reply as he continued his ministrations against her skin. She lifted her hand slightly, brushing her nails against he back of his head, playing with his short hair and he sighed. "So, Kurt?" she said, finally opening her eyes, a playful smirk on her lips.

"Mm?" he said, enjoying the fell of her skin against his.

"I know that I've lost my place on your list," she said and he turned to her quizzically. "It's ok, I know Ava is the number one girl on your list now, and I don't blame you," she teased, "but did you at least miss me too today? Or is just her that you miss now?" she accused him teasingly, the smirk never leaving her lips.

He smiled and cocked his head, eagerly joining the game she initiated, and pretended to think about her question. "Hmm…" he said, squeezing her arm and getting up to his fee, "well, Mrs. Weller…" he started but then stopped, keeping her waiting for his reply, he raised an eyebrow at her and before she could figure out what he was planning, he was in the bath tub with her, fully dressed hovering over her.

"Kurt!" she squealed, laughter mixing in as he moved in closer and planted his lips forcefully against hers, kissing her senseless. She grabbed onto him, his clothes now fully drenched and returned the kiss with equal fervor, fighting for dominance. He pulled back eventually, resting his forehead against hers, breathless, he asked, "does that answer your question, Mrs. Weller?"

She smiled, eyes closed as she tried to catch her breath. "Hmmm… it's a start…" she hummed, "but I think you should take those wet clothes off and get back in here to properly answer my questions."

He laughed, kissing her quickly before lifting himself up, "yes, ma'am."

* * *

 **AN:** Yes, I know the last scene is stolen straight out of Batman vs Superman. I have no shame.


End file.
